I'll Book My Own Flights

In a hurry Captain?

2012-01-02T00:41:00.000-08:00

I was on a Sydney to Canberra QantasLink flight the other day on a Q400 (the latest Dash 8 model). During the taxi in Sydney the Captain noted that we had left early and thanked us for our cooperation. Of course we then sat on the tarmac waiting for an opening for us to depart. Anyway, the flight was uneventful and we approached Canberra from the South for a landing on Runway 35. There was a lot of turbulence on the approach, but of course when the ground effect took over it was a smooth and normal landing.

That's when it started being not normal. I've been in aircraft when they slammed the brakes on to make an intersection to return quickly to the terminal, but that's not what happened. After the smooth landing we "chucked a U-ey" on the active runway (rwy 35), something I have never experienced before (Sure, at other airports it's necessary, but never at CBR). Also as an ex-pilot who in the past has landed at CBR many times it's not something I would ever have contemplated requesting. We then taxied really quickly until we were on the apron. I need to point out that I'm not just making this up for a better story after the event - I commented to my wife that we were going much faster than normal.

We then arrived at our parking point and while at least one engine was still running the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was switched off.

In all my numerous flying days I have never known the sign to be switched off before all engines have been shut down.

I can only surmise that the Captain was in a real hurry to get somewhere. The flight was on time, so it wasn't to ensure a quick turnaround. I'm guessing it was his last flight of the day and he was totally over it. I have to say there was nothing on the flight that wasn't totally safe, but it was certainly a humourous departure from normal procedures.

Apropos of nothing, on the previous day's CBR - SYD Virgin Australia flight we had two Captains. One of them must have been being checked out. It happens all the time, but it's the first time I have ever noticed it on a flight I have been on.

Stage Manager addenda

2011-12-12T03:53:00.000-08:00

In an effort to publish my latest blog post quickly I forgot the most important parallel between stage managers and pilots.

When something beyond your control goes wrong, and it will, you need to come up with a solution. This may be required within a few minutes, or it may need to be resolved within seconds. Regardless of the time frame, you live or die (again, literally in the pilot's case but metaphorically in the stage manager's case) by the decision you make. A top pilot and a top stage manager will take such deviations from the expected in his or her stride. Again, perfection is the expected result, so getting it right will not bring praise, but making an incorrect decision will bring at the very least severe complaints, and will be on the record forever.

I would be remiss if I didn't illustrate by example. At our latest production the curtain mechanism failed. That meant that instead of being raised and lowered, it needed to be opened and closed from side to side. From my stage manager's point of view this changed the timing of the curtain movements because (for example) at the start of one act there was only one character on stage and she was way off to one side. With a vertically raised curtain it could start its movement three seconds before she started to move and she would still be seen. However with a side moving curtain I needed to guess (because we obviously hadn't rehearsed it) how many seconds to call the curtain call before she started to move.

I still need to review the DVD, but provisionally I am happy with the decisions I made. Whether others agree with my assessment remains to be seen.

[I also had an extreme example as a pilot. I was flying an unfamiliar aircraft type and messed up a landing on a fairly short country town runway. Once that happened I retracted the flaps and put on full power. I looked at my air speed indicator to see that I was flying below stall speed, meaning that it was only ground effect keeping me afloat. I was nearing the end of the runway with trees lurking beyond. I put my hand on the electric flap deployment switch and spent a few seconds trying to recall my physics and aerodynamics training to decide whether it would be better to lower the flaps or keep them retracted. Having made my decision I pushed down on the switch to lower the flaps, and still with full power I gradually gained altitude and cleared the trees. I belatedly achieved the required result and avoided the alternative, which would have been total blame for an accident.]

Perfection means nobody notices. Anything less means you have not achieved the required result.

On being a Stage Manager

2011-12-11T03:29:00.000-08:00

My wife runs a ballet school. Each year the school has end of year performances at one of the major theatre venues in Canberra. I am the Stage Manager for these productions. I very much enjoy the role, but I have been unable until recently to explain exactly why. I now realise it's part of my psyche.

Although the connection will not be immediately obvious, I need to explain that when I was 19 (and an ANU graduate) I was a trainee commercial pilot. I also need to explain that I left the pilot training academy to pursue a career in IT, but I later obtained my Private Pilot's Licence.

I have only just in the past week realised the connection between enjoying being a Pilot and enjoying being a Stage Manager.

Here are the dot points:

Both roles involve most of the time doing nothing other than keeping a monitoring eye on what is going on. This requires quite a lot of attention because it is easy to let the mind drift and lose focus on the important tasks. This is the "boring" bit, although it is vital in its own right.
Apart from the "boring" bits, both roles need (in very short bursts of time) a lot of precise and complex actions to be undertaken quickly and accurately.
If everything goes smoothly nobody comments, because perfection is the assumed level of performance. Pilots and Stage Managers never expect thanks. Basically not being noticed and the lack of complaints are the highest compliments there are.
If anything goes wrong, no matter how minor, there will be many complaints and the Pilot or Stage Manager is automatically assumed to be responsible.
To disprove the previous point, the Pilot or Stage Manager needs to build an unassailable defence.

(Of course a Stage Manager making a mistake will almost never lead to people dying, unlike a Pilot.)

Yet at the end of the day, the satisfaction when I responded to the final Air Traffic Control communication as I left the active runway with my callsign, and the satisfaction I now feel when my final call of "House curtain 'go'" is enacted in a timely manner, are very similar. It's over, and I've done the best I can do to assist with the big picture.

Moreover, I hope no-one has noticed my involvement at all, because that means I have done the perfect job.

Anonymity may seem like a dubious goal, but it means I have performed perfectly. Nobody will give me a Christmas present for my involvement, but as long as they don't complain or curse me then I'm happy.

Tate Modern

2011-10-28T05:10:00.000-07:00

I may have already said this, but since I became a regular London visitor about a decade ago there have been some things I have intended to do eventually and others which I've never thought the need to do. Recently I was in London, possibly for the last time in a while, so I did some stuff I always meant to get around to. The poster child for this was walking on the Abbey Road crossing made famous on the Beatles' album cover.

I have to be honest and say that the Tate Modern art gallery never held any attraction to me. While I can swoon over Impressionist masterpieces at the Courtauld Institute (feel free to call me a philistine, or indeed a Palestine for comedic effect), my exposure to more modern art is limited enough that I still regard it as the Emperor's new clothes. I have come to love Jackson Pollock's Blue Poles at the National Gallery of Australia, but for the most part I just don't "get" modern art. I stop short of dismissing it out of hand (although I come close), rather I think of it like many other artforms that, perhaps to my detriment, I don't appreciate. I won't list the many and varied examples of expressions of the human spirit which elude me, for fear of being dismissed as totally lacking any artistic merit at all.

I won't apologise for the following, but I will say that the reason I ended up at the Tate Modern was that I wanted to let my daughters know that I had walked across the bridge that was blown up in Harry Potter 6 ("Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"). Its real name is the Millennium Bridge. Admittedly the other reason was purely to walk across such a controversial bridge - when it was first built there were all sorts of reports about it swaying alarmingly. However there I was crossing the "Harry Potter" bridge, so when I reached the southern bank of the Thames in front of the Tate Modern, it seemed silly not to go in.

I have to say that I am surprised I had not previously heard what a ridiculous design this building is. It's so bad that you almost feel like it was a deliberate attempt to keep out the plebs. However I eventually found a way to look at the art. I was suprised to see a Monet there, but that's neither here nor there. Here is the description of one piece of art that I captured on my iPhone. Stupidly I didn't take a photo of the actual painting, but I eventually found an image of it online.

"The Bigger Picture. Clyfford Still, 1953. Matthew Collings, painter and critic.

"The blue in this painting is full of differences.
"Ruffled and disturbed, it sometimes seems brilliant and full, sometimes dark, almost black. It's a shape but it also has shapes within it which gradually emerge - you can see a kind of vertical trawling shadowy form, indeterminate, like weather changing, or something passing by under water. When you register the other colour areas the whole arrangement snaps to, and the painting becomes much more flat. It has very little to it, but the effect is amazingly rich. The yellow creates a feeling of great distance. Nothing is careless, everything relates to everything else."

I'm sorry, but clearly Matthew Collings is a wanker. It's an almost entirely blue painting with tiny bits of other colours on top and bottom. But wait, there's more. Surely this is the wankiest description ever to accompany a painting (the same painting by the way, this time by the artist).

"Clyfford Still 1904 - 1980
"Born and worked USA

"1953
"Oil on canvas

"'My paintings have no titles because I do not wish them to be considered illustrations or pictorial puzzles', Still wrote. 'If properly made visible they speak for themselves.' In a letter discussing this work, he explained that the red at the lower edge was intended to contrast with and therefore emphasise the depths of the blue. He saw the yellow wedge at the top as 'a reassertion of the human context - a gesture of rejection of any authoritarian rationale or system of politico-dialectical dogma."

Since he refused to give titles to his works it took me even longer to find an online image of the piece.

The old saying is that if you can't find anything nice to say, don't say anything. In the spirit of that belief I won't say anything at all about this total load of bollocks that pretends to be art.

I mean really, "politico-dialectical dogma"? Anyone who takes that seriously deserves serious derision, pointing and laughing.

[I really wanted to use the expression f***ing b***s*** in this blog, but I'm much too polite to use words like that.]

The Royal Visit

2011-10-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

I took my daughters to see Queen Elizabeth the Second last Sunday. I didn't particularly want to - we had had a hectic few weeks and we were for once happily lazing around the house. The girls and my wife were also about to go to Cooma for an afternoon tea (I had some work to do so was staying in town).

While I was sitting there trying to think of reasons not to mention it to them, I suddenly realised how much it meant to me to have seen QE2 in Darwin in 1977, during her Silver Jubilee. I knew that this would be something they would probably remember for the rest of their lives. Moreover, in all probability this would be the Queen's last visit to Australia, and who knows what the future of the Monarchy holds for Australia after her passing. The girls weren't particularly keen - they were also happy to take a rare opportunity to lounge around the house.

I guess there was also the thought that it would be silly not to go there, given that Government House (where HM was staying) is only about three minutes' drive from our house.

So we all bundled into the car and drove to Yarralumla. We parked and walked two minutes to Dunrossil Drive. One minute later a few Police motorbikes passed, and then the Royal motorcade went past. We were on the right hand side of the road. Prince Philip was in the right hand seat and Queen Elizabeth was in the left hand seat. Both waved as they went past.

My elder daughter was beside herself ("I saw the Royal Queen", my iPhone video recorded). My younger one was also happy, but not quite as much - being six years old I think there is a limit to how much she can understand. Regardless, they will both be able to retell for the rest of their lives the day they saw the Queen. I can't believe I almost denied them this experience.

How times have changed - in the past the road would have been 10 deep with people cheering. As it was, we could turn up with a couple of minutes to spare and be right on the edge of the road only a couple of metres from our Monarch.

For the record, as well as seeing QE2 in 1977, I was in the crowd at the opening of New Parliament House in 1988. I also accidentally saw her and most of the Royal Family in London once. I was on a business trip in Berkshire and had used a free day to go into London. I took the Tube to Westminster and was planning to walk to Hyde Park. On the way I suddenly found barricades in my way and lots of people standing around. I went as far as I could and after a short amount of time I heard the clip-clopping of horse and carriage. The first one had William, Harry and Charles, then another went by with QE2 and Phil the Greek. Apparently it was Trooping the Colour day, and I had missed the memo.

Tasmania votes for gay marriage

2011-09-23T04:49:00.000-07:00

Misleading headlines 'r' us.

On 21st September 2011, the lower house of Tasmania's Parliament (House of Assembly) voted to "support gay marriage". Great. I support gay marriage too. What they didn't do was introduce a bill to both houses of Parliament to legalise gay marriage. Why not? Tasmania's upper house (Legislative Assembly) has two Labor Party representatives, one Liberal Party representative, and fifteen independents.

The Labor Party knew that they couldn't guarantee passage of a bill through the upper house, so they took the option of only presenting the motion to the lower house. Essentially then it means nothing. No law has been changed and opponents of gay marriage have ammunition to say that the Tasmanian Government were too scared to introduce a real bill which may have made a real difference and legalise gay marriage.

In closing, I fully support what the Tasmanian government has done. I just wish they had had the courage to make it an actual legislative change rather than just a "vote of support".

The fact that loving couples may or may not be married purely because of their respective genders is an outrage as far as I'm concerned. I married my wife because I loved her, not because I am a man and she is a woman. Why shouldn't a man (or woman) be allowed to marry the love of his (or her) life, just because of the partner's gender?

It makes no sense. But until States and (I wish) the Federal Parliament start passing bills/acts to legalise gay marriage we are stuck with ridiculously discriminatory marriage laws.

Faster than light? Maybe.

2011-09-23T04:06:00.000-07:00

Some results from CERN seem to indicate that they have discovered a faster than light particle. As the Daily Telegraph have said, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/tomchiversscience/100106792/faster-than-light-extraordinary-claims-require-extraordinary-evidence/

Someone close to me has tweeted, "Don't get the fuss. If an atom can be in 2 places at once, or instant comm b/w atoms in diff countries, surely faster than light is poss?"

I sort of understand the sentiment, but finding a faster than light particle (if that's what has happened) is a huge deal. As much as quantum mechanics gives us really odd stuff, nothing in physics theory has ever needed something exceeding the speed of light. Sure, there have been loads of hypotheses which hypothesise (as they are wont to do) faster than light particles, but to actually find one would be earth shattering.

The great thing about science is that if something thought impossible is discovered, science will investigate the Hell out of it, and if it proves to be valid then science will modify existing theories to accommodate the new findings.

To give a trivial example, consider Newton's theories of motion. They are valid for almost all of our experiences. It's only when you look at extremes that Einstein's theories need to be taken into account.

If faster than light particles have actually been discovered, it's almost certain that Newton's and Einstein's theories will still explain 99.9999% of the universe. It's just that there will need to be an additional theory that covers the extra 0.0001%.

I hope it's true - the implications are amazing. But if not, then that's the great thing about science - it's self-correcting.

Abbey Road

2011-09-12T04:09:00.000-07:00

Almost 32 years after first visiting London, and at least 20 more visits later, I finally fulfilled an adolescent dream. A couple of weeks ago I walked across the Abbey Road crossing. I'm the one in front:

Edited to add: I didn't mention how this video was captured. Abbey Road has a webcam, and for 24 hours after the event you can see yourself on the crossing: http://www.abbeyroad.com/visit/

10 years ago today

2011-09-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

My September 11th, 2001.

We had no children at that time. My wife was due home around 8pm or so. She rang me at about 8pm saying that she had been assaulted on leaving work, and had made her way to the local shops. I immediately jumped into my car and probably broke the Jerrabomberra to Cook speed record. After L spoke to the police we went to hospital because L was feeling like she had broken ribs.

Eventually the X-rays were taken and examined, and when we were given the all clear we were free to go. We drove home, and a few minutes before arriving at our house someone rang to say that two aircraft had impacted the World Trade Center towers. Hearing that it was obvious that it was a terrorist attack.

Of course when we arrived home we switched on the TV. I think we tuned into CNN because we figured that an American TV network would give the best information. The more immediate issue, even given what was happening, was to cancel all of my wife's credit cards and mobile phone. AMEX pissed me off to the extent that I still resent them because their automated system asked, after being the told that the card had been lost or stolen, required that we enter the "Member since date" which appears on the card. IT'S ON THE CARD WHICH HAS BEEN STOLEN - HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHAT IT IS? It took me a few goes, but I eventually guessed it.

There was plenty of misinformation - report of explosions in the middle of Washington DC, etc. I remember wondering how they would eventually either repair or demolish the damaged World Trade Center buildings. Then without warning the South tower collapsed. From that moment there was the feeling that it was only a matter of time until the North tower did the same, which of course it did. Soon after, bizarrely, we went to bed.

The next to morning we went to my wife's workplace, because she lost her address book/life story in the robbery which was part of the assault. Eventually after searching the nearby suburbs we found someone who resided nearby who had found the address book, which made it all a little bit better.

They never found the bastard who did it. Perhaps that is as well because I would have found a way to kill him, and if I wasn't careful enough I would have ended up in prison for the rest of my life.

9/11 was a disaster on many levels. My story forms a tiny part of it - my wife's is a much larger, but still tiny, part. As I sit here it's almost to the minute when we arrived home on that day. We are in a different home now and we have two beautiful daughters who were born since that day. I mourn the loss of life on that day, but almost equally I mourn the unnecessary loss of freedom to which we have submitted ourselves since then. We should not have to submit ourselves to the ridiculously intrusive TSA and other local security searches. We (the US, UK, Australia, New Zealand, most of Western Europe and many others) are free countries, where we deserve to be treated like the innocent people the vast majority of us are. The loss of freedom that has occurred since 9/11 is not worth the tiny increase in security which may (or may not) have occurred. Give me back my water bottle on board, give me back a metal knife on board, give me back a pair of tweezers on board, and I promise if someone tries to hijack my aircraft I will help my follow passengers, cabin crew and flight crew to stop the bastards from achieving their aims.

Rest in Peace those who died on 9/11.

2011-09-09T04:26:00.001-07:00

I was going to put this in a Tweet, but I just couldn't fit what I wanted to say in 140 characters. Unless you don't listen to the radio or watch TV, you will know that we are approaching the 10th anniversary of the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks in the US.

Ever since that day airports have increased security, airlines have implemented ways of restricting access to the cockpit, and even high rise buildings have thought of ways to stop airliners crashing into them.

Why?

Prior to that day, pilots and cabin crew were taught to cooperate with hijackers. That's because prior to that day, hijackers always wanted to make their point by keeping their hostages alive.

Everything changed on 9/11 (please forgive the American date format). From 9/12 onwards no pilot, no cabin crew, no passenger will ever go along with hijackers. The hijackers of 9/11 rightfully used the knowledge that flight crew would cooperate with them to execute the most horrific scenario imaginable. This will never happen again. Almost every cent spent on increased airport security: TSA intrusive checks, liquid restrictions (this wasn't a result of 9/11, but it's still stupid), confiscation of anything vaguely sharp, etc., has been wasted. Spending millions/billions on protecting prominent buildings from airborne attack is equally as stupid.

Meanwhile, anywhere in the world I can board a train with absolutely no security, even after the Madrid and London bombings. It makes no sense.

Don't fight the last war. If a hijacker tries to take over an aircraft, there are hundreds of passengers and a dozen crew who will prevent that. This has been proved since 9/11 with the shoe bomber and other instances. There will almost certainly be more terrorist attacks in the future, but they won't be the same as 9/11. Please stop making airline travel so hard, and put resources to better effect.

The solution to the current Australian political problems

2011-08-10T05:54:00.000-07:00

Like all great ideas, this occurred to me in the shower this morning.

OK. So there is a fundamental problem with Australian politics at the moment. Both parties (Labor and Liberal) have previous leaders who are still senior portfolio holders. Labor has Julia Gillard as current leader and Prime Minister, and Kevin Rudd as previous leader (and also previous Prime Minister). The Liberals have Tony Abbott as current leader and Malcolm Turnbull as previous leader. Both Rudd and Turnbull have made it clear that they are not going away, and although they would never state it outright, it is clear that they still covet the top job.

Julia Gillard's problem is that Kevin Rudd is widely acknowledged as a very effective Foreign Minister, and in my opinion one of the best ever. Similarly, Malcolm Turnbull is clearly a very intelligent man who understands that the science behind climate change is more important than the politics.

The fact remains however that both of the previous leaders disagree fundamentally with certain aspects of the current leaders' policies. This has led to both parties having to worry about not only the fact that there is a hung parliament, but that each major party has someone trying to undermine its leader. This cannot be good for the country.

Here is my grand plan to settle this once and for all. Listen up, it's more complicated than quantum theory. But as in the case of quantum theory, that doesn't mean it's not right.

There is an election due in 2013. Let's assume that the both parties still have leaders haunted by leaders past, when the election is due. So how about we give the voters more choice than just their local members? I propose that we go into the election with four major parties. They are:

- Gillard Labor
- Rudd Labor
- Abbot Liberal
- Turnbull Liberal

Each electorate will have one candidate from each of these four parties. I know it seems unfair to make sitting or prospective members choose a leader to follow, but too bad - that's the cutthroat nature of politics. We want you to stop pretending to be loyal to everyone. Pick a leader and stick to him/her. That's what the voters want.

Prior to polling day the four protaganists will agree that if their opponent's "faction" wins the majority of seats for his or her party, he or she will pledge not to challenge for the leadership until the victorious leader either resigns or is defeated in a leadership challenge by someone else. That way we still get to benefit from all of the four who are clearly very effective politicians, but we don't get the two victorious leaders hamstrung by their strongest opponents.

I know. I'm dreamin' :(

Crosswords - things that make you go "hmm"

2011-02-28T02:08:00.000-08:00

I was doing a crossword the other day. One clue was "Saying: Up the ____" (four letters). Now from the other clues I knew that the word was "A__E" (i.e. two letters between the "A" and the "E"). At this stage I should refer my American readers to footnotes (1) and (2).

There were no other clues - the other two letters did not connect to any other words.

Quite frankly, I think my answer was at least as valid as the one from the crossword setter. I mean, is "Up the ante" really as common as my answer? I think not.

Footnotes:

(1) Unlike American crosswords, British and Australian crosswords do not necessarily have both an "up" and a "down" clue to cover each square.

(2) The British/Australian word for "ass" is "arse".

Cheap premium class flights between Australia and Europe (or vice versa)

2011-02-28T02:05:00.000-08:00

US Airways currently has a deal where they will give a 75% bonus for any miles purchased in their frequent flyer scheme (up to 50,000 purchased miles). Now, I'll admit this sounds ho hum since (1) US Airways don't fly to Oz, and (2) they are a crappy airline. They are however part of the Star Alliance, which is where it gets interesting.

Executive summary:

Buy 50,000 miles for US$1,375 and get a bonus of 37,500 miles = 87,500 miles
Buy 50,000 miles for US$1,375 with no bonus
Buy 13,000 miles for US$357.50 with no bonus

That makes 150,500 miles for US$3,017.50.

150,000 miles gets a return Oz-Europe (or vice versa) in First Class on Star Alliance. So given the strong A$, that's First Class to Europe for around $3,000 (+taxes of course).

If you want to slum it in Business Class the total cost would be US$2,282.50. I doubt if you could even get Economy on QF for that.

Details:

Now availability is the next issue. I threw in some random dates and even less than 2 months out I was seeing pretty good availability on Thai Airways, which I have it on good authority has an outstanding First Class product. You certainly can't book that close to departure on Qantas or BA, which typically need booking nearly a year ahead for award bookings in the premium classes to Europe.

The purchasing bonus deal runs until the end of March. You need a US Airways frequent flyer account, but that's free and done online. The account needs to be open for at least 12 days before you can make the purchase (no idea why).

I haven't checked award availability during school holidays - I imagine it's not very good. aeroplan.com (the Air Canada frequent flyer scheme) allows you to search for Star Alliance awards. You don't need to join to do searches. usairways.com has all the details about the purchasing bonus, but you can't search for availability there.

Contact me if you want more info.

Why the profound memory loss in sleep?

2010-03-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

I don't get the way my brain works during dreams. In dreams I'm never another person, I never have a different wife, and I never have different children. So why do my dreams get some things so wrong?

During my dreams I'm often in my house. Understandable of course, except that it's never actually the house I'm living in right now. Most often it is one of my childhood homes. Why doesn't my brain say, "hang on, I haven't lived here since 1977"?

A couple of nights ago I had a dream when I ran into my father. I told him that he was looking much better than the last time I saw him. In the dream it ended there, but something has to be said. Well, duh, obviously he was looking better, because the last time I really saw him he was dead.

How can my brain forget something like the fact that my father is dead? Moreover, I'm 46 years old and he's still the only person I've seen dead.

I mean, sure, maybe I could understand why in my dreams I might drive a Ferrari rather than a Nissan, but the whole dead father thing seems like something that is perhaps a little more important. Ironically, I never actually drive a Ferrari in my dreams.

My brain sux.

Where did that come from?

2007-08-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to repeat "cute" things my daughters say. Generally they only seem cute to the parents. I'll make a one-time exception because this one was so unexpected, and I'm still not sure why she came up with the particular line in question.

Yesterday our two year old was repeating a rhyme she obviously picked up in her parent-toddler group. At the risk of violating someone's copyright, it goes:

Five little monkeys bouncing on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said
"No more monkeys bouncing on the bed"

Four little monkeys ... etc.

The problem was that she kept starting the rhyme with "Three little monkeys" and never went down to "Two". Stuck in this infinite loop she went on for well over five minutes chanting the one verse over and over again. Finally she found a way of ending it by saying:

Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said
"That's not my problem"

And that's where she stopped.

I'm still shaking my head over that one.

2007-06-28T23:16:00.000-07:00

With my latest transit in Tokyo, it occurred to me that there have been a few countries I have visited, without having actually "entered" the country. In other words I have been to an airport, but nowhere else. That list currently stands at:

United Arab Emirates - in transit in Bahrain - on the way to (and back from) London in 1979.
India - in transit in Bombay (now Mumbai) - on the way to London in 1987.
Sri Lanka - in transit in Colombo (twice) - on the way to London in 2006.
United Arab Emirates (again, twice) - in transit in Dubai - on a turnaround from London to London in 2006 and 2007.
Japan - in transit in Tokyo (Narita) on the way to London in 2007.

In addition I have been to two US states, Illinois (Chicago) and Texas (Dallas), without having left the airport.

Happy ending to an unexpectedly traumatic event

2007-06-28T22:50:00.000-07:00

Last week I arrived home from my latest round the world trip. My suitcase didn't. The final day wasn't ideal - I couldn't get the exact flights I wanted, so I had a very long layover in Los Angeles. The flight from Washington DC to Los Angeles was quite civilised, leaving at midday. Following a leisurely breakfast at the hotel I took the hotel's shuttle out to Dulles Airport, checked in, waited for my suitcase to be checked by the TSA (they x-ray it and ask you to open it if it is locked - as it happened they wanted to check mine), waltzed through the priority security line and made my way to the Admirals Club to await departure. Being Sunday morning the club was almost empty, and I had a long chat with one of the club staff who was previously a Qantas representative at Dulles (Qantas no longer have their own reps there).

Due to the time difference it was around 2:30 pm when I arrived in LA, so still over 10 hours before my night flight to Sydney. At least with a long connection there would be plenty of time for the luggage to make the transfer, right?

The first problem arose when weather in New York meant that the aircraft which was to take me to Sydney was delayed (the route it flies is NY - LA - Sydney). Delayed, as it turns out, by almost three hours. This meant I would miss my connection to Canberra, but with frequent Sydney-Canberra flights it wasn't really a problem. I was able to change my seat on the LA-Sydney leg to 16A, which is an upper-deck exit row window and generally regarded as the best Business Class seat. The flight, QF 108 is so often delayed that frequent flyers refer to it as QF 10Late).

Eventually we left and it was a pleasant, uneventful flight, with great views over Sydney Harbour and the CBD on arrival. A whiteboard was placed at the entrance to the terminal showing new flights for those who had missed connections. It was around 9:30 am and I had been rebooked on the 11:25 am flight to Canberra. Nice, easy connection with time to pick up some duty free.

Made my way through immigration to the baggage carousel. Surprisingly some bags from the flight were already there. Not mine. Slowly over the next hour or so more bags appeared, but eventually I had to accept that mine would not be joining me in Sydney. It was now approaching the time where I would not make my connection unless I left pretty much immediately, so the Qantas rep suggested leaving and reporting the missing bag on arrival in Canberra. Lined up (a long line) for customs and quarantine inspections and x-rays. Had to explain that no, I wasn't travelling light, and while I had ticked the "I have food" bit on the form, most of it was in my suitcase.

Raced over to the domestic connections bit of the terminal. Check-in agent said that while I would make it to the flight, I had missed the bag cut-off. I explained why that wasn't a problem and off I went. Fortunately a bus was just about to leave for the domestic terminal, so I arrived there with five minutes to spare before scheduled boarding time. Quickly entered the Qantas Club for a few glasses of water (thirst from too much racing around!), then down to the gate and on to the Canberra flight. Another uneventful flight and I dutifully reported my lost bag to Qantas.

With lost luggage there are two important deadlines. A vast majority of missing bags are returned within 24 hours. This takes care of bags which have missed tight connections and bags which have had to be off-loaded due to weight restrictions (this can happen on full LA-Sydney flights because the 747-400s don't have the range to make the westbound flight fully laden). The second deadline is three days, which gives time for bags which have been accidentally sent to the wrong destination to be rerouted to the right one, no matter where in the world they ended up. If you haven't got the bag back in three days you need to start coming to terms with the possibility that it is permanently lost.

Well, I sweated out the first day, the second day and the third. No bag. It's a frequent flyer commandment that valuable items will not be placed in checked luggage. It's also common sense, so there was nothing in my bag which would attract thieves (unless they were desperate for chocolate). What I had never paused to consider though is how incredibly important to me the non-valuable contents of my bag were. As time went on I remembered more and more things that were in the suitcase which would be incredibly distressing to lose. Clothes, presents, momentos (especially momentos of my First Class upgrade on BA). I was really becoming severely stressed at the thought of their loss. Believe me, I would happily have traded my upgrade to First Class for my bag while it was lost.

Saturday (day four) came and went and on Sunday morning (day five) we were shopping in Civic, having dropped the girls off at a birthday party. My mobile rang, "number withheld". Probably telemarketers. No, Qantas baggage services, "We have a bag here for you". "You're kidding?" I said, happy that my brain's profanity filter was working so well. They offered to send it out to me, but as we weren't planning on being home except for brief periods that day, I said I would pick it up when I had the chance. Eventually during the afternoon I went out to the airport and retrieved the bag. The lock was still on it, and there was no more damage than I expected from such a journey. Later inspection and unpacking revealed that everything seems to have survived intact. As I brought more and more things out, I realised even more how unfortunate it would have been to lose these "non-valuable" things.

In the end it was a great result, but one which should never have occurred in the first place. As a "loyal AA customer" I am chasing compensation, and I will report back if anything positive results.

I don't know what I can learn from this experience. There is only so much you can carry on to an aircraft, so I guess I will just have to keep trusting the airlines to get my bag to my destination, even if it takes them some time. I would love to know what happened to the bag in those five days, but I never will. In the mean time American Airlines have my e-mail, and I will wait to see what compensation they offer. I suspect it will be a bunch of frequent flyer miles, which would be nice, but we shall see.

In the pointy end

2007-06-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

Managed to nab 62K on the NRT-LHR BA flight. This was a real bonus because it is widely regarded as the best seat in Business Class. It is upstairs in an exit row, so acres of room. It is also on the side which does not have crew seats facing it, which makes it pretty much like your own private cabin. The British Airways system is renowned for (seemingly) randomly shifting people around, particularly if you have chosen one of the prized seats. So every now and then I would check to make sure I still had 62K. I was disappointed but not surprised when one day I found that I was now in 61K, which is just a run of the mill seat.

I phoned British Airways, or at least the Indian call centre which BA now uses for calls originating in Australia. I asked to change my allocation and was told that seating can be selected 24 hours prior to departure. Funnily enough, as soon as I mentioned that I was a oneworld Emerald she decided that it may in fact be possible for her to help me. I was quite surprised when, after a few minutes of typing (seriously, how could it take that long?) I was back in 62K. Makes it even odder that I was moved out in the first place.

Fast forward to the afternoon of my departure from Canberra. I logged on to the BA site, checked in, made sure I still had 62K, printed my boarding pass, and check it to make sure I was still in 62K. I also noticed I had sequence number "001", meaning I was the first person to check in.

I boarded the flight in Narita, turned right, and made my way upstairs to my assigned seat. I worked out what I needed for the flight and put the rest of the hand luggage in the overhead locker. Then I prepared myself to settle in to the best Business Class seat on the plane. That was when a short Japanese man appeared in front of me. "Mr Bennett?" "Yes." "I have your new boarding pass, please follow me." But I wanted to sit in 62K! Hang on, what does that boarding pass say? "1A". 1A?! But that's ... in the pointy bit ... big seats ... turn left on entering ... 1A ... best seat on the PLANE! And that was how I got to fly to London in First Class. "More anything, Sir?" "More EVERYthing."

Who knew air travel could be so complicated?

2007-06-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

Had to share this with someone, and I suppose that's what a blog is for. I'd advise you to skip over this post to the next one. This one is mainly recording details for my own benefit. It got kind of long.

The planning of this trip was plagued with problems. The first was when Cathay Pacific decided that the increasing civil unrest in Colombo, Sri Lanka, was enough to cancel their flights there. Now the problem with that was, I held a ticket with flights confirmed into Colombo, and an unticketed, but fully arranged, booking for my next round the world trip.

Much research followed, and finally I decided that Tokyo would be a good place to start the next round the world. It was a bit more expensive than starting from Colombo, but with the strong Australian dollar, coupled with the opportunity to ticket the trip with American Airlines, the total cost would be only one or two hundred dollars more than my last ex-Colombo ticket. American Airlines doesn't impose fuel surcharges, so instead of the taxes and charges coming to around $1200, they were only around $700. I quickly sought and gained approval from the company. As an additional bonus, the ticket could be made electronic and paid for over the phone, so no more midnight rendezvous hoping there was a ticket waiting for me.

Next step was to make sure I could get to Tokyo's Narita airport (code NRT), and from there keep my existing proposed schedule. Everything worked out and I reissued my CBR-SYD-Hong Kong (code HKG)-Colombo (code CMB) with the local Qantas office to be CBR-SYD-NRT-HKG-CMB, with the NRT-HKG-CMB open dated. I also held a reservation with American Airlines for the new round the world. So far so good.

Once Qantas had finished reissuing the ticket I called Cathay Pacific to get them to cancel the bookings they held. It was only later (almost too late) that I discovered that whatever they did had cancelled the whole reservation. A frantic call to Qantas fixed this, but I was lucky because I got the very last seat in the relevant booking class on the SYD-NRT leg.

A ten minute call to American Airlines in Tokyo, and I was the proud owner of a Business Class round the world ticket. So I contacted Cathay Pacific in Colombo and told them that since it was not currently possible to make bookings out of Sri Lanka, I would need to cancel the tentative reservations I held. Done.

Except that in a free moment I thought I would log on to British Airways and try to get some seat allocations. That's when I discovered that some of the legs of the ticket had disappeared! Long story short, it appeared that any flight which had both a Cathay Pacific and American Airlines reservation for me had gone. More frantic calls. Most were restored but my return to Australia had to be delayed a day. Trust me, this precis does not do justice to the time, effort and phone calls required to try to fix the problem.

Once all was resolved, I went through the process of getting seat allocations. I'll continue this in the next post.

A more convenient Bureau de Change

2007-05-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

From the "I swear this is true" file.

Last week I needed to stop of at a suburban shopping centre, where virtually all parking is metered. Even though I was only going to be a couple of minutes, when I noticed that the meter said "10 cents for 10 minutes, 60 cents for 1 hour" I thought that 10 cents was a small price to pay for insurance against a ticket. Now before Sydneysiders scoff about only paying 60 cents for an hour of parking, let me remind you that this was a small suburban shopping centre, not the CBD!

Remembering I had recently received a New Zealand 10 cent piece in change, I wondered whether I could get away with using it in the meter. To my delight it took it without complaint. But wait, what's this? "Time remaining - 8 minutes". 8 minutes?

Now that's what I call a smart parking meter. Not only does it work out what denomination coin you put in, but it also works out what currency and does the conversion for you. Mind you, it takes a hefty commission for the service. The going rate at the moment would make 10 NZ cents worth a smidge under 9 Australian cents (8.9 as of today), so the machine took a 10% commission. But hey, it's certainly convenient!

And no, I'm not going to check it by inserting an Australian 10 cent coin. I'm much happier believing that the meter converted the currency for me, rather than accepting that it has been so badly programmed that it can't handle the complex calculation of 1 minute per cent paid.

Security sham in Chicago

2007-02-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

In my last post I said I wouldn't be posting any more aviation-related stuff. Well, the builder is already behind schedule, so other than complaining that the builder is already behind schedule, there's not much to talk about with regards to the new house.

Before I get into the main point of this post, let me stress that my role in the incident was purely unintentional, and I was annoyed with myself when I realised what had happened.

Since 11th September 2001, air travellers have been subjected to much more intrusive security measures at airports. Then someone tried to set off explosives he had hidden in his shoe, so now in many airports we have to take off our shoes and put them through the x-ray machine. More recently an alleged plot to blow up aircraft using liquid explosives was foiled, so now we have to carry all liquids, creams, gels, etc. in containers no larger than 100 ml, totalling no more than 1 litre, and we have to put them in a regulation-sized ziploc bag to be run through the x-ray machine separately from our other carry-on luggage.

In some places it can literally take hours to get through security (Heathrow Terminal 3, I'm looking at you). We put up with it in the name of increased safety and security. But it is totally pointless if the security is only for show and doesn't actually provide adequate security. In December last year I was travelling from Chicago's O'Hare airport (ORD) to Washington DC's Reagan National airport (DCA). I was carrying a kitchen knife in my carry-on, which I planned on relocating to my suitcase to be checked into the hold. Except that I completely forgot that it was there.

I walked up to the security checkpoint, took my laptop out of my carry-on bag and put it on the x-ray conveyer belt, took my shoes off on put them on the conveyer belt, took my ziploc bag containing a small tube of toothpaste and my 75ml bottle of eau de toilette and put it on the conveyer belt, put my carry-on bag on the conveyer belt, and walked through the metal detector. On the other side I picked up my laptop, shoes, liquids and bag, and walked off, secure in the knowledge that like all passengers, I had been found to be clear of liquid explosives, shoe bombs and any prohibited items which could jeopardise the safety of my flight. Except of course that the following was in my carry-on:

That's right, ORD security completely failed to detect a 5 inch long metal knife. Which is a pity, because it's exactly the sort of thing that they have been looking for all along. But at least they made sure that my toothpaste was not a threat to national security.

Six Sigma and random frequent flyer stuff

2007-01-31T21:24:00.000-08:00

Being involved in around a dozen ISO 9001 certification audits each year, the topic of Six Sigma gets raised from time to time. At the risk of oversimplifying, Six Sigma seeks to reduce defects by improving processes. Of course that's the aim of all quality improvement activities, but the aim is to achieve no more than 3.4 failures per million events.

Most recently during an audit of our main North American office the auditor asked whether we would consider using Six Sigma in our environment. My initial reaction was that there is no way we could justify the rigour that would be needed to achieve so few bugs - we would take so long to get any product out the door that we would go broke. Of course you need to be careful saying things like that - it can be seen as heresy for someone in my position to be advocating "affordable quality". The other problem with Six Sigma is that it works best in a repetitive environment with enough operations or transactions to make statistical analysis feasible (e.g. a factory making 100,000 widgets a day). It's most probably not going to be the best tool in non-routine and highly variable environments.

The other thing which I've never been able to get past is that 3.4 defects per million just sounds impossibly close to perfection. Then of course the day after that audit I saw something which made me change my mind. I was on my way back home from Washington (via Dallas, Los Angeles and Sydney) and was reading the American Airlines in-flight magazine. In it there was a throw-away line that AA had 1.5 million flights in 2006. It occurred to me that if five of those flights had crashed, AA would still have satisfied Six Sigma requirements. Suddenly 3.4 failures per million didn't sound so great after all. Fortunately AA lost no aircraft last year - zero failures in 1.5 million events. Flying really is incredibly safe.

Random frequent flyer stuff

First random fact: At the start of my last round the world trip (actually technically it was the end of my previous one and the start of my current one, since they start and end in Colombo) I checked in at Canberra airport. I used the Qantas Club check-in and realised that there were four independent reasons why I was entitled to do so:

I'm a Qantas Club member
I was travelling Business Class
I still have Qantas Frequent Flyer Silver status
I have American Airlines Excecutive Platinum status

Any one of those is enough to use the check-in. All four seems a little like overkill.

Second random fact: At the moment I hold current frequent flyer cards for all three oneworld status levels:

Silver status on Qantas (expiring in May), which is oneworld Ruby
A Platinum card from American Airlines from my requalification in 2005 (with a stated validity until the end of February), which is oneworld Sapphire
Executive Platinum status on American Airlines, which is oneworld Emerald.

Third random fact: With American Airlines there are three different ways to obtain status. One based on the number of Qualifying Miles earned, one based on the number of Qualifying Points earned (Q-Points can be higher or lower than Q-Miles depending on the class of fares purchased) and one based on the number of segments flown. My activity in 2006 saw me reach the targets for Executive Platinum based on Q-Points, Platinum based on Q-Miles and only Gold based on segments. Fortunately status is awarded on the highest of the three qualifying methods, so I'm top-tier for another year.

I expect this will be my last aviation-related post for a while. The first sod was due to be turned on our block of land today, so get ready for future rants about builders and sub-contractors.

2006-12-08T07:23:00.000-08:00

I have now been in England for three hours. The first hour was spent waiting for a stand for our aircraft to park in at Heathrow. Already I have been exasperated at English attitudes and pissed off by ex-Australians.

I have been travelling for nearly three days and did not hear that the English cricket team had completely cocked-up the second cricket test and lost. So I watched the summary. Two things stood out - the first was that the English captain, in an interview on the morning after the loss, said something about starting the day playing for a draw. Sorry, but you never start a day's cricket playing for a draw. You were 50 or so runs ahead with 10 wickets in hand. Go all out and score as quickly as you can until tea, then declare and see what happens. The pitch was deteriorating and you never know what might transpire.

The second was that the captain said they had lost the first two tests of the five test series and so needed to win two of the remaining three tests to retain the Ashes. What sort of attitude is that? You should be stating that you intend to win the next three tests and win the series - not play for a draw!

I was amused by a voice-over that talked about "snatching defeat from the jaws of a certain draw". Mind you, it still showed a less-than-positive attitude. If you view a draw as a positive thing, you will settle for that and not take the extra step of actually winning. Play to win, like the Australian team does - that's why they beat you yesterday.

After the cricket there was a show called "Oz and Them", a show comparing and contrasting Australia and England, where Australia's position was put forward by the likes of Cathy Lette, Germaine Greer and Clive James. Clive James began by defining the alleged Australian national identity by recounting what happened when he was a schoolboy in 1953 when the Queen visited. Clive, as much as I think you are a genius and I really, really enjoy your work, that was more than half a century ago and those of us who actually live in Australia have moved on.

As for Cathy Lette and Germaine Greer, neither of you have lived full-time in Australia for a really long time and you have no more right to speak for me than I have to comment on English society. Never mind that I think both of you, along with the likes of the inexplicably revered Richard Neville, are limited-talent hacks who happened to have the ability to make people think that not only were you on the cutting edge, but that you possessed an opinion that meant something. Both of you are extraordinarily well-off English people who have absolutely no idea what it is to be like a working Australian today.

It's 2006. Gough is no longer Prime Minister of Australia, thank goodness, and you really need to piss off and live your lives as privileged English people and stop pretending that you are Australians, or indeed that you know anything about modern day Australian society.

For the record, I love visiting England. England and Australia are two countries with a shared tradition and still very close ties, which is why the Ashes remain such an important event. But the '60s and '70s were a long time ago, and are irrelevant to most current-day English and Australians.

It wasn't just me, a star really was born

2006-09-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

I resumed my occasional persona of Eisteddfod Father yesterday - we drove to Wagga Wagga for my now four-year-old daughter to reprise the role in which she made her stage debut a couple of months ago.

In awarding the group first place in the section, the adjudicator singled out my daughter for special praise. What an observant and astute adjudicator she was, although with a certain knack of stating the bleeding obvious.

I think I've created a monster. I think the monster is me.

A short experiment in search engine manipulation

2006-09-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

I recently posted to a frequent flyer site using the word hexamethylphosphoramide (it's a long story). Being such an unusual word I wondered whether that thread would make its way to a reasonable ranking for a search for hexamethylphosphoramide on a popular search engine. It hasn't yet, so I'm wondering whether referencing the thread from here might improve things. Let's see.

The One

2006-07-31T16:59:00.000-07:00

This post isn't about me.

My wife is a classical ballet teacher. The hours are long, and the pay is appalling. There are any number of reasons why someone would not want to do the job, and yet there are many teachers who make a career of it.

Like any job, there are minor victories frequently enough to make the teachers get out of bed each morning and get down to the ballet studio. It may be a student who has struggled for a long time and finally "gets it". It may be the painfully shy student who slowly gains confidence over the years. It may be the ex-student who comes back and thanks the teacher for changing her life. Whatever it is, it's a sign that all the hard work is worthwhile.

And if you're really lucky, there is "The One".

Many teachers have a long and satisfying career without ever having the chance to teach The One. But maybe one day a young girl will arrive at your studio for her first lesson with the combination of a natural gift, an ideal physiology which can take the training, and an ideal psychology which will accommodate the determination necessary to make it. Then after years of moulding and shaping, out will pop a ballerina who will conquer the world. She is The One.

My wife was lucky enough to have her version of The One, and a good enough teacher to take the raw materials and make them count. This student went on to win numerous awards, and in 1998 Lorraine and I flew to London to watch her win a silver medal in the prestigious Adeline Genee Awards, which is an annual international ballet competition.

The following year The One began training at the Australian Ballet School, where she graduated dux, and was subsequently offered a contract to join the Australian Ballet Company. Last year she was named winner of the 2005 Telstra Ballet Dancer Award, and at just 23 years of age has already been promoted to Soloist.

And now last night she won a Helpmann Award in the category "Best Female Dancer in a Ballet or Dance Work".

Her name is Lana Jones.

Congratulations, Lana. You are The One.

Maintaining my impartial perspective

2006-07-12T22:37:00.000-07:00

In one capacity or another I have been involved in the local ballet school scene for more years than I care to remember. Probably the only capacities in which I haven't been involved have been as a student or a teacher, although I did marry a ballet teacher.

Over the years I have seen many students come and go. Some clearly have a lot of talent, some clearly do it purely for enjoyment, and of course the majority fall into the middle of the extremes. It seems that every parent thinks their child will be the next ballet superstar, and I don't envy the teacher who has to let them down gently.

Occasionally though one newcomer will shine, and it makes all the teachers' hard work worthwhile.

Not surprisingly, competitions bring out the best and worst in the students, and more disturbingly, in their parents. The "Ballet Mother" becomes the "Eisteddfod Mother", a truly fearsome beast. Then there are the "Eisteddfod Fathers", who often don't want to be there, and don't understand what is happening. These fish out of water have a tendency to resort to aggression to hide their insecurities, making life hell for those of us working front-of-house. Fortunately I have only ever had one person threaten to beat me up, but I managed to persuade him that trying to do so would not be a great idea.

Don't get me wrong, some ballet parents are wonderful - helpful, friendly, and a pleasure to spend time with. I look forward to catching up with them each time there is a competition. It's just a shame that they are in such a minority.

Well, last Saturday I became an Eisteddfod Father. My elder daughter made her debut in a competition at the Canberra Theatre. She is not yet four years old, so it wasn't a big dance number. She was on stage with four older students, and her role was to be the cute little one.

Purely objectively, it is patently clear to me that there has never been a student who has made such a stunning debut. The audience loved her, and she showed the sort of brilliance which will undoubtedly take her right to the top, if she decides that is the way to go. There surely couldn't be anyone who witnessed the performance who could think otherwise. If there are, they obviously know nothing about dance and are clearly brain-dead morons.

The other thing that always confused me was the parents who would end up in tears of joy and pride when their little darlings performed. Always seemed like such an overreaction to me. Now I'll admit last Saturday I did need a couple of tissues after my daughter's debut, but I'm sure that was just a reaction from the cold, windy Winter's day. Or a touch of hayfever. Or the last bit of that head cold I have been fighting off. Yeah, that's it. It was the head cold ...

My little star has begun to shine.

Impartial perspective is a wonderful thing.

More Flagship Lounge success

2006-06-16T11:55:00.001-07:00

I was trying to remember the last time I missed a flight, whether just by arriving too late at the airport or having a connecting flight arrive too late. I couldn't remember one at all. And of all the flights I've done over the years, if I had to miss one then this was the one to do it with. My schedule had enough slack in it to cope with the delay, and actually it was quite nice to sleep in a hotel that night rather than on an aircraft.

Came back the next morning to check-in. I hadn't bothered with breakfast at the hotel, as I planned to have some in the Flagship Lounge prior to departure. Then I realised with horror that technically I wouldn't have access, since my arriving international flight was on the previous day (stupid rule, but there you go). My Qantas Club membership would get me into the Admirals Club, but they didn't serve breakfast there. The lounge dragons at LAX have a reputation for being strict with the rules, and for denying access if there was any way to do so. I went in and told them my story, putting my in-bound First Class boarding pass and my Executive Platinum frequent flyer card on the desk as I did so. She said she remembered that the London flight was badly delayed and she was apologetic. I took a laid-back "well, these things happen" approach, and I think she was so impressed that I didn't rant and rave about the airline that she thanked me for my attitude and handed me a swipe card for the Flagship Lounge.

Due to the stringent requirements to get into the Flagship Lounge, it was fairly empty at that time of the morning, but I'm told that in the evenings when the Qantas flights are departing it can get really crowded.

So I made it into Washington - 12 hours or so later than expected, but otherwise no worse for wear.

After going like clockwork for so long, time for it to go a little pear-shaped

2006-06-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

After boarding the aircraft in London the airbridge was removed in preparation for departure. Then the delays started. Apparently the weather enroute was a problem, and they were waiting to see if it cleared. Then they tried rerouting us. Then we needed a takeoff slot. Eventually, more than two hours late, we left.

My ample connection in LA was looking a little shaky as we made our final approach, but as we taxied towards the stand it looked like I would be OK (but not have time for a lounge visit). Then the final act of the farce began. We would be parking at Terminal 4 (the American Airlines terminal from where my Washington flight would depart) but would be clearing customs and immigration at the Tom Bradley International Terminal (TBIT) next door. This would mean a long walk in underground tunnels. Oddly, sometimes Qantas will park at TBIT and clear customs and immigration at T4. Then they showed on the TV screens which gates various connections would leave from. The Washington flight was leaving from 48A - the furthest gate from security. And then the plane stopped. One of the pilots announced that although our gate was empty, the adjacent one had a 747 in it, so there was no room for us until the 747 was towed away. Eventually we moved again until we were nearly at the gate, but then we stopped again. Pilot came back on saying that we had to be towed to the gate, so there would be a delay while the engines were shut down and the towing vehicle was attached.

When we finally arrived I was first off the aircraft. I reached immigration (eventually) to find only a short line. After the formalities I went to wait for my suitcase. In LA they generally use two luggage carousels for large international flights - one for priority luggage (First and Business class and any other priority gained via frequent flyer status) and the other for the rest. Then they announced that one of the two carousels to be used had developed a fault, so all luggage would come out on the one carousel. That was the final straw, because it then meant a long wait for the bags to come out.

Knowing it was almost certainly in vain, I went to the luggage transfer area, but they wouldn't accept the bag because it was too close to the departure time. My only hope would be for a delay in the flight, so I fought my way out of TBIT and across to T4. The flight was delayed, but not by enough. By the time I arrived at the check-in desks it was 10 minutes too late to check in.

The agent was very helpful and we discussed a couple of options. Finally I was put on the flight the next morning and American Airlines paid for a room for me at the Crowne Plaza LAX.

All the way to the pointy end

2006-06-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

Arrived at Heathrow Terminal 3 and checked in. Went through the "Fast Track" security, but as they were only using one x-ray machine it still took a while. The departure area was really crowded. Seemed to be largely a holiday crowd rather than a business one. If there's one place you really need lounge access, LHR T3 is it.

Fought my way through the crowd and finally made it to the American Airlines Flagship Lounge (their First Class lounge). Registered with the desk and was about to go into the lounge when I thought I may as well try for an upgrade. When I qualified for Executive Platinum I was given a bunch of systemwide upgrades. I had planned to use one on the London-Los Angeles flight to upgrade from Business to First, but for some reason if the tickets are issued by Cathay Pacific then the American Airlines system won't process the upgrade. I didn't even know whether it was possible to do it at the airport, but I figured I would never know unless I tried. Anyway, about 20 minutes later I was handed my new boarding pass for seat 4A. Woohoo!

I felt a little sorry for the person at the desk dealing with my upgrade. Apparently it was her first day back at work in three months, and all the procedures had changed in the intervening time.

Had a look in the lounge, but found it to be small, lacking in food, and with a poor drinks selection. No Champagne!

I had heard good things about the Cathay Pacific lounge, so I left the Flagship Lounge to find it. On my way out the people on the desk were still chatting about my upgrade. I think I severely stressed the poor woman. Finally arrived at the Cathay Pacific lounge and was warmly greeted at the desk. I was informed that I would need to keep an eye on the departures board since they don't call American Airlines flights in that lounge. Went into the First Class side, and found it empty. There was a variety of dim sum on offer, and a menu from which noodles could be ordered (free). There was also a cheese board and other snacks. The drinks on offer included amongst other things a Champagne (non-vintage Moet), a Premier Cru Chablis, a Grand Cru Classe Bordeaux, and two types of XO Cognac. What a contrast from the AA lounge!

As boarding time approached I went back to the Flagship Lounge (I was still the only person in the Cathay Pacific First Class lounge). Now as well as being small and poorly stocked it was also crowded. Seems like not many people realise they can use the Cathay lounge as well as the American one.

They were using the second door of the aircraft for boarding, so I had the unusual pleasure of turning left on entry to the aircraft to get to my seat. Up at the pointy end at last.

English Breakfast - sort of

2006-06-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

On the flight back to London from Dubai they served breakfast. Menu said scrambled eggs, veal sausage, tomato, chicken, ... . Chicken? In an English Breakfast? Then it dawned on me - chicken, no bacon, veal (not pork) sausage. Ah, of course, no pig products.

Also explains the absence of the famous British Airways bacon sandwich prior to landing. For the record, the chicken was tasty, and probably healthier than bacon anyway.

Make mine an orange juice

2006-06-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting in the British Airways lounge at Dubai airport. There is no separate First lounge, but I'll cope with sitting amongst the less privileged. Anyway, I'm reading a copy of the "Gulf News" newspaper, while sipping on a Jack Daniels and Coke.

Actually, it's Pepsi. Don't know why there isn't Coke, but since it's mixed I guess it doesn't matter. And yes, it has an old-fashioned detaching ring-pull, and interestingly it has only English on the can although it states that it was "filled" in the United Arab Emirates - all of the other soft drinks in the fridge have both English and Arabic script on them.

Where was I? Oh yes, the newspaper. I'm sitting here with the aforementioned beverage and I've just read about a man in Fujairah (no idea where that is, but the byline said Abu Dhabi) who was sentenced to 80 lashes for "consuming alcohol". Think I might put the JD down and go back to Orange Juice.

Top Deck on a 747

2006-06-09T03:14:00.000-07:00

The boarding call was finally made and I was allowed to leave the lounge. A long queue had formed for boarding, but the First/Business queue was virtually empty so I was on board in no time.

Then it was upstairs and into the secluded Business cabin. Even once boarding had been completed there were many vacant seats. I found this a little surprising since upper deck is usually favoured by those in Business Class. I have no idea how many were in the lower deck Business cabin, but I'm assuming it would also have had many empty seats. The bonus was that it meant I would not have to climb over anyone to access the aisle. Even with all the space in Business Class, if your neighbour is lying down you have to climb over his or her legs to get to the aisle. I had a rear-facing seat, which surprisingly does not feel at all odd. To give you some idea of the space, I had three windows to myself.

Soon after takeoff dinner was served and at its conclusion I gratefully changed my seat into a bed and fell asleep. I'm not sure how long I got, but I think it was close to a six-hour stretch - not bad for sleeping on a plane.

The unadvertised benefits of being in Business Class can still surprise me. We were the first aircraft to arrive in Terminal 1 on that day, and I reached the immigration area to discover it empty! I've been anything up to an hour in the queue in the past, and getting a head-start on the 300 Economy Class passengers made a real difference. Of course some of that benefit evaporated thanks to the usual Heathrow delay in delivering the luggage, but once the carousel started mine was one of the first bags out, thanks to the "First Class" tag on it (a benefit of top-tier oneworld status).

Although reasonably well sign-posted, BA make you work for it to get to the Arrivals Lounge. From the immigration exit it is up one level in the lift, then right across to the other end of the terminal, then down a long corridor, past the premium check-in area, and finally into the lounge. Maybe they reason that if you make it you must really, really want to be there.

I went for a shower in the lounge and discovered that they have a free valet service. While you are having your shower they will iron your clothes for you. It's a great idea, and meant that I emerged soon after in a clean, freshly-ironed suit, ready for the day. In case you are wondering, there is a small closet in the door of the shower room. You hang your clothes to be ironed in there, lock the closet door and push a button which alerts the desk that your crushed clothes are ready to be uncrushed. The valet then opens the closet from the other side and takes the clothes away. Soon after the clothes are returned, and when you are ready you unlock the closet to discover that the ironing fairies have visited. Then it was time for the full English breakfast on offer (free of course). I relaxed for a while, and then decided to take advantage of a complimentary back massage in the Molton Brown spa. I'd been lugging my carry-on bag around for three days, so it was good to have some of the muscles loosened.

Another random incident: Just after sitting down in the lounge after the massage, "Anita from the Royal Suite" from the TV documentary series "Airport" walked in with someone who sounded like they are a BA big knob. They grabbed some coffee and then sat down at one of the tables for a meeting. OK, so she's not Madonna-famous, but it was still fun to see someone from TV. In fact I found it more interesting than seeing actors because in this case I was seeing her doing part of a job that I'd seen her do many times on "Airport". On the other hand when you see an actor, you generally don't know them as themselves, only in the context of the roles they play.

Finally the driver arrived, and it was time to leave the airport and head off to work. Thanks to the comfort of the flight and lounges I was actually able to achieve things during the day, which was a refreshing change from my normal arrival days.

Random Incident

2006-06-09T03:12:00.000-07:00

I just go told off for trying to leave the lounge too early. It was about 40 minutes before scheduled departure, so I thought I would go down to the gate, knowing that Business Class could board anytime once boarding commenced. Apparently this was the wrong thing to do.
This was the conversation between the Lounge Dragon and me:
LD: Not boarding yet.
Me: What?
LD: You on BA 26?
Me: Yes.
LD: You can wait until boarding call.

So I dutifully went back to my seat to wait for the official call.

It's not all beer and skittles being a top tier.

The Round The World commences

2006-06-05T02:26:00.000-07:00

Finally starting to get some frequent flyer points ...

I said previously that I was hoping for a light load out of Colombo - I didn't figure on only 5 of the approximately 50 Business Class seats being occupied. The Flight Attendants were virtually begging us to ask for something so they had something to do. I think we had one FA each! The numbers picked up a bit in Bangkok, but there were still enough free seats for everyone to rearrange themselves so that no-one had a neighbour.

On arrival back in Hong Kong I picked up my suitcase from left luggage and took the train into Kowloon. There they have a place where you can check-in for your flights. The reason for doing it there rather than at the airport was that the British Airways counters at the airport do not open until a couple of hours before their late night flights. By going into town I could get rid of my suitcase and pick up my boarding pass, which would allow me to go through to the lounges whenever I wanted. I was also looking forward to wandering around Kowloon again - it's been over seven years since I was there last. Unfortunately the weather was unkind to me and I had to cut the visit short. So here I am back at Hong Kong airport, waiting to board the BA flight to Heathrow. It will be my first time seated in the upper deck of a 747, and I know the lie-flat bed will be a big change from the limited-recline last-row nightmare the other day. It's time for all the scheming to pay off.

Clarification about the Coke can

2006-06-05T01:40:00.000-07:00

I said in my previous post that the Coke cans at Colombo airport had mostly Sri Lankan script on them. Well, I was wrong. Most of it was actually Arabic, with only some Sri Lankan - I realised my mistake when I got a bottle of water which stated that it was made in the United Arab Emirates, and I compared the script. I had thought the script was a little too up-and-down and not "round" enough when I first saw the Coke can, but just leapt to the conclusion that because I was in Sri Lanka it must have been Sri Lankan.

Sometimes I wish I knew more about languages, but you can't know everything I suppose.

I'll be happy once I have the tickets

2006-06-05T01:34:00.000-07:00

Boarded the aircraft in Hong Kong to find that there was someone in the seat next to me, but that there were a number of spare seats in the cabin. As soon as the doors closed my neighbour moved to the spare row directly behind us. Flight was uneventful, but the senior Flight Attendant must have seen my oneworld status printed on the manifest because she made a point of coming over and saying, "I know you fly very often, and I have asked my staff to take care of you, but if there is anything you need in the mean time, let me know." It was nice in a way, but I felt like a bit of a fraud - I really don't fly very often at all, and only got my top-tier status by working the system. Still, it was nice of her to make the effort.

The aircraft arrived in Colombo and we disembarked (well, I disembarked - I'm sure the Americans on board deplaned). Of course I had no idea where I was going, but I dutifully followed the signs to the transit area. By the way, all of the signs were in English only - no Sri Lankan script to be seen, which I found a bit odd. Random fact - the Coke can has mostly Sri Lankan writing with some English, but the main reason to mention it is that it had an old-fashioned ring-pull - the type where the tab comes away completely from the can. Honestly didn't think I'd ever see one of those again.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the transit area. Asked the information desk where to go and she pointed to the immigration desks. No I don't want to go there, I want to stay in transit. So she pointed towards vaguely the other way. The only other occupied desk was the Sri Lankan Airways transfer desk, so lacking other options I tried asking there. It took a while to get them to understand my story (well, it is a little odd), but eventually they phoned Cathay Pacific. While the conversation proceeded (in Sri Lankan, so I couldn't tell how it was going) I realised that a lot rested on the outcome of the call. Dealing with a third party is always a concern, because if he had said, "they don't have a ticket for you" I would be stuck. At least if you are dealing directly with the person who is meant to have the tickets you can talk alternatives with them. After what seemed like a really long time, he said "take a seat - someone will bring the ticket down in 5 or 10 minutes." So I went and sat in the small seating area in uncomfortable plastic seats amongst about 20 men - some of whom were sleeping and others who took turns to go to the Sri Lankan Airlines desk and completely fail to achieve whatever it was they were trying to achieve. I started to feel like the guy stuck in transit in Charles de Gaulle airport for the past 20 years (made famous in "The Terminal" starring Tom Hanks).

Half an hour of the 5 or 10 minutes passed, so I went back to the Sri Lankan desk. After a couple of phone calls he said that they were just bringing it down now. Sure enough, almost 15 minutes later the man from Cathay Pacific turned up with my tickets. He also brought a credit card machine (the old-fashioned manual type - not one connected to a phone line). In went the Amex card, and then I took possession of the long-awaited tickets. They've given me a window seat again, but I'm hoping for a light load so that I'm not boxed in - I think I'll spend most of the flight asleep. It's now 5:45 am Canberra time and we have a little over an hour until departure.

The adventure is under way

2006-06-04T02:01:00.001-07:00

When I checked in at Canberra airport the check-in agent printed the boarding passes and then said "and your bag is checked through all the way to Colombo". When I told her that I only wanted it to go as far as Hong Kong she was very confused, but changed it for me. I tried to explain, but even as I was saying it, it didn't sound like it made much sense. It makes sense in my universe, so please just humour me.

I don't think airlines like people on award tickets. My first flight was on Qantas between Canberra and Sydney on a 737-400, and they put me in row 20, which is 3 or 4 rows from the back. Not really a problem - it's a very short flight and the light load meant that I had a spare seat next to me.

I was more concerned when I was allocated 68K for the 10-hour Cathay Pacific from Sydney to Hong Kong. I had no idea about the seat numbering on the A330 aircraft, but 68 didn't sound like it was anywhere near the front. Once in the Qantas First Class lounge in Sydney I logged on to the Cathay Pacific website and discovered that this seat was a window, near the back of the aircraft. I dislike being in a window seat on long haul flights because I like being able to access the aisle without disturbing anyone.

I realise that award tickets can't expect royal treatment, but I would have thought that having top tier status in the oneworld alliance should have given me some chance of an OK seat.

Incidentally, ever since Qantas spent lots of money building new First and Business lounges in Sydney Terminal 1 (the International terminal), I had only ever been able to use the Business lounge. I like it a lot, but I always wanted to see what the First lounge was like. Qualifying for top tier oneworld status this year meant that I would be able to use the First lounges, but wouldn't you know it - Qantas decided to renovate the First lounge band it is closed until next year. Worse, the temporary First lounge is in the space which until a few years ago was the Business lounge, which I had visited on a number of occasions! Bloody typical!

The Sydney airport terminals (both the domestic terminal 3 and the international terminal 1) were like ghost towns on this Saturday evening. There seemed to be almost no-one around. which led me to speculate that perhaps the flight to Hong Kong was lightly loaded and I would have a spare seat next to me. The fact that one week prior to the flight there were still award seats available reinforced this idea. The Qantas staff at the lounge were unable to help me with seating questions, so I had to wait until the Cathay Pacific staff were at the gate. Somewhat more than an hour prior to the scheduled departure I went to the gate to fix the seating problem, only to be told that the flight was completely full. I was amazed. They told me that there was one aisle seat which they could move me to - in the centre block of the very last row. I wasn't happy, but took it anyway.

I boarded to find that the last row had very limited recline - not good for a 10-hour flight. The only good thing was that this row only had 3 seats in the centre block, and when a gay couple took the other two seats I knew that at least I would not have anyone trying to climb over me to access the aisle.

The flight was really quite unpleasant. Naturally the person in front used all of her recline, so my limited recline highlighted the lack of space. I also found that the Cathay Pacific seats were significantly less comfortable than those on either Qantas or British Airways. I managed a few hours sleep, but awoke many times with pains in various places.

On arrival in Hong Kong I cleared immigration and collected my suitcase. I then went the left luggage to get rid of my suitcase and wandered around the landside area for a while, deciding whether to go into Hong Kong or stay at the airport. I really wasn't feeling at all well from lack of sleep, so I decided to stay put - I can always go into Hong Kong when I return tomorrow.

Back through immigration and then the long trek to Gate 65 to the Cathay Pacific Pier Lounge. This airport is so big that there is a train to get you to the higher numbered gates. Then it was into the First Class part of the Pier Lounge and into one of their "Day Rooms", which are small private rooms with a lounge chair and TV. I watched some TV and then relaxed and slept for a while. Once I had recovered I stayed in the lounge for a while and had a meal - I suppose it was brunch.

Time for more relaxing and then I left the lounge to go to the other, bigger lounge called The Wing. This time rather than taking the train, I walked (with the help of travelators) - I must say it's a really long way. Finally made it into the Wing and relaxed some more, checked my e-mail and phoned a friend (but didn't take 50-50). I then had lunch in the Haven - basically a buffet with lots of nice food, from sushi to noodles to pasta to smoked salmon, to Hagen Daaz ice-cream and chocolates from the Peninsula Hotel. I then went to have a shower in "The Cabanas". They were even better than the Pier's Day Rooms - They had a separate shower and bath, and a separate area with a chaise longue and a flat lounge which I chose to call a bed. They provided a bathrobe and slippers, and I proceeded to have an afternoon nap there.

My flight to Colombo has a seat allocation of 19K. I logged onto Cathay Pacific's website again and found that on the 777-300 this is the second-last row of Business Class seats, and of course it's a damn window. It's a bulkhead though, so I won't bother changing it.

Now I'm just using up the remaining time relaxing and waiting for the flight. I'll go and have some more food soon, and then I'll be ready for the first Business Class leg of the journey. Whether my tickets will be waiting for me in Colombo, only time will tell.

My bags are packed and I'm ready to go

2006-05-30T21:19:00.000-07:00

(OK, so my bags aren't really packed, and I've got lots of work to do before I'm ready to go, but ... actually come to think of it, that's a ridiculous title for this post. Never mind - back to the saga from my most recent post.)

In the mean time I had been sorting out my itinerary for the rest of the trip. One thing I needed to ensure was that my travels this year would allow me to requalify for Executive Platinum status in the American Airlines AAdvantage frequent flyer program. Usually two RTWs in Business would do that nicely, but because the award tickets to Colombo do not accumulate frequent flyer miles, I looked like being a few thousand miles short. Business Class flights earn 1.5 points towards status requalification per actual mile flown, so with two RTWs you need to average 33,334 miles on each RTW to get the required 100,000 points for Executive Platinum.

Fortunately my one free weekend will be during the UK leg of my trip, and there is a well-documented long flight which falls within the airfare rules. So on the Saturday I am flying from Heathrow to Dubai, then getting back on the same plane and returning to London. I also routed my London to Washington DC flight via Los Angeles (!) which is also allowed. Checking the mileage on the Great Circle Mapper we find that the flights end up totalling 33,114 miles. OK, so it's 220 miles short of requirements, but since each flight earns a minimum of 500 elite qualifying points, it's fine - a single domestic flight will fix the problem. The whole trip, including the non-earning segments totals just over 40,000 miles, or 64,000 km.

I hope to be able to blog the progress of my adventure as it happens - it all starts this Saturday.

Getting my flights booked and ticketed

2006-05-30T21:16:00.000-07:00

So I've finally managed to convince the company (admittedly with some concessions) to allow me to travel Business Class overseas.

The next problems were:
1) Finding an agent in Colombo to do the booking and ticketing, and
2) Getting to Colombo to pick up the ticket.

My contacts came to my rescue with the first problem - the Cathay Pacific agent in Colombo is used to dealing with foreigners looking for cheap fares. As for the second point, frequent flyer points would be my only option as I had no money with which to afford the airfare (see previous blog post about buying and selling property). The obvious route from Sydney to Colombo is via either Singapore or Bangkok, but of course there were no frequent flyer seats available. I was eventually able to secure a seat from Canberra to Sydney to Hong Kong to Bangkok to Colombo, so I grabbed it. Next problem was getting the ticket, since for some reason the Hong Kong to Colombo flight could only be produced as a paper ticket rather than an e-ticket (electronic ticket). I was using American Airlines frequent flyer miles, and AA wouldn't send the ticket to me in Canberra - they would only send it within the US. So I asked them to send it to my company's office in Reston Virginia who would then send it on to me. There was plenty of time for all that to happen.

Fast forward two weeks. I realised I hadn't heard from the Reston office. Hopefully they had received the tickets and sent them, but just forgot to let me know. After all there was only one week to go until I had to get on the plane. Better double check ...

The tickets didn't make it to Reston! AA say they were send by FedEx two weeks ago. It's now Friday, and Monday is a holiday in the US, so there is no way that the tickets will reach me in time. I phoned AA in Sydney to ask whether they could reissue the tickets for me. No real surprise when they said no, since the originals were done in the US. Time to call the super secret Executive Platinum phone number at AA - these people are the best agents AA have, and they can do things that mortal agents can't. I called and asked for my options.
AA: You need to drop in to an AA office in the US and ...
Me: I'm in Australia. How many other options do I have?
AA: None.
Me: Have you counted them all?
AA: Twice.

Eventually we talked it through and came up with a few possible solutions. Some were bad, while others were really bad. Cutting an absurdly long story slightly less absurdly long, after a few more calls to the US and Australian AA offices (including a very stressful weekend when the Australian AA office was closed), the AA office in Sydney faxed me a form which I filled out and faxed back. Within the hour they had sent new tickets by Express Post, and next morning I had my tickets! WHY DIDN'T Y'ALL COME UP WITH THAT SOLUTION IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Gah!

Anyway, I now have tickets which will get me as far as Colombo.

One step closer to the pointy end

2006-05-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

Each year I need to do two round-the-world (RTW) flights to visit our UK and US regional offices (near London and Washington respectively). The company policy dictates Economy Class travel. While very annoying, the policy is understandable since a typical RTW on oneworld alliance airlines (Qantas, British Airways, American Airlines, Cathay Pacific, etc.) costs $3200 plus taxes in Economy, but $9600 plus taxes in Business. That's makes Business Class three times the price of Economy! Well actually not quite - the taxes on a typical RTW would be around $1000 to $1200 regardless of class, so the percentages change a bit. If the policy were applied equally I probably wouldn't be so concerned, but there seem to be a number of people who have been granted exemption from the rule and get to travel in the good seats.

In recent years the company has paid the surcharges to allow me to upgrade to the British Airways World Traveller Plus seats (premium Economy) where possible, which has helped. It's still very much Economy, but significantly better seats. The surcharge on an RTW is $1500 if all upgradeable legs are upgraded, which brings the ticket price from $3239 up to $4739.

Now, I've mentioned that a Business Class RTW is $9600. The thing is, that's the price you pay if you start your journey (or purchase your ticket) in Australia. But as it turns out, anomolies exist. Due to the way that the RTWs are priced, by purchasing a RTW ticket outside of Australia the cost can change significantly. For example, by beginning the journey in Sri Lanka a Business Class ticket will cost $6696, before miscellaneous taxes and fuel surcharges. This means that for only $1957 more than my usual fare I could travel in Business Class.

Another benefit of ticketing outside of Australia is that it includes up to four sectors within Australia. While the exact value of this is hard to determine, a very conservative estimate would be $1000. In other words, the actual price differential is now down to $957.

I actually think this proposal is a cost-neutral solution for the company, since by careful routing of flights (and taking into consideration reduced downtime while overseas) I am able to reduce my hotel stays by three nights on a typical trip. But in recognition of the fact that a conservative view would indicate that there is a shortfall of approximately $1000, I offered to split the difference with the company and pay $500 toward the fare.

Somewhat to my surprise, the offer was accepted!

Naming the blog

2006-05-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

A colleague at work set up and named this blog for me.

In case you're wondering about the name of my blog, it relates to company policy. The policy in question is the one which requires all business trips to be booked through a particular admin person. Unfortunately this person has not had much opportunity to travel, and so knows less than the average person about air travel. Coupled with the fact that aviation is my "thing", this policy has been the cause of much tension. My workaround was to deal directly with our travel agent, book the flights, then send the official request to the required admin person. The travel agent knew that she would eventually receive the go-ahead e-mail from admin, and could ticket the booking as though she and I had never spoken.

Funnily enough, recent events (which I will detail later) have meant that I now can actually book my own flights.

An analogy

2006-04-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

I'm using American Football for this analogy purely because it works better than any other I could think of.

Your team is trailing by five points in the championship game with only seconds left on the clock. It is the 4th down and goal, but due to a sack on the previous down you are almost 40 yards from the end zone. The ball is snapped to the quarterback who sees the defenders bearing down on him. He has the option of a safe short pass, but it would be highly unlikely that the receiver could make it all the way to score. He sees his team mates heading for an underprotected end zone. It's risky, and the consequences of an incomplete pass or an intercept are dire. He considers his options and at the last possible moment puts up a Hail Mary pass. All he can do now is wait, and hope that his receivers can get there in time to save the day ...

A few weeks ago we put in an offer on a vacant block of land. The idea is to build our dream home, and a purpose-built place of business for my wife. After being messed around by the bank (Which Bank? Yeah, that's the one.) we finally received approval from another one, and at a better interest rate. The proviso was that our other block of land was to be sold prior to settlement. We found a buyer for the old block, and arranged a simultaneous exchange for both. One the proposed exchange day, the sale of our old block fell through, so both were cancelled.

Friday arrives and we have to make a quick decision. If we don't exchange on that day for the purchase of the land we will probably lose it. If we exchange but can't sell the old block then we will not be able to settle, will lose our deposit (around $40,000), and be back at square one. The vendors of the land agree to a 60 day settlement rather than the usual 30 days, but only if we exchange contracts that day. Our solicitors tell us not to do it, and if we decide to go ahead we would have to sign a statement to the effect that we were ignoring their advice. Should we take the safe option and probably lose the chance of owning the land? Or should we risk it and take a $40K gamble?

Well, we exchanged, and the clock started running. We now have 54 days to get everything in order, otherwise we may be dealing with a different kind of "receiver".

Null post

2006-03-30T21:37:00.000-08:00

No text yet.